This was both an interesting chapter and at times difficult. There were points in reading it I felt real anger which I will address below.
The chapter juxtaposes two metaphors commonly used in the New Testament to describe the Church. The first is that used by St Paul of the Church as a body. With each member of the Church being a different part or “member” of the body. Each having its own gifts and responsibilities. I agree with the text that perhaps this metaphor has been overused at this point where it may no longer serve us in this vastly different cultural setting in which we exist. The text makes an excellent point that this metaphor reinforces individuality and independence of each member within the Church while at the same time we are living in a society where these concepts have become distorted, if not down right destructive.
In comparison, the second metaphor is that of the Church as a family. This metaphor may help us to correct some of the problems we face in modern society. A family has equal members where all share the burdens. Members are not separated or identified by their gifts but rather according to their maturity. Just as in a family the more mature teach and nourish the younger generation. It promotes interdependence, self sacrifice, and putting the community first.
This is where I had difficulty with the chapter. The text talks about (1) how we don’t choose our family, (2) That we shouldn’t be looking for the “perfect” church, e.g. church shopping, (3) the group comes first. Now, perhaps I am misunderstanding the implications or reading into it my own biases. It seems to that we all eventually choose our families. Hopefully, if we grow up in a happy, healthy, and loving home then our biological family will make the cut. However, we all know that many families are not that. Some are abusive and destructive. That “group” cannot be put first before our own physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual wellbeing.
The same goes for the Churches and other groups we are reared in or first experience in our lives. None are perfect. However, there are some that exclude, injure, persecute and deny some of our very existences as a core belief. Even if one gets beyond the fact that their are thousands of “Christian” churches, the fact remains that the Church, however, you define it is meant to protect the the vulnerable, not demand that they be inauthentic or be punished. While, I love the family metaphor and accept that it has great merit and answers many of our problems, I do not want to be naïve and pretend that there won’t always be tension between the group and the individual members . If we love as Christ loves then there will be no division. I await the day…
Interestingly enough, I am not in the church in which I was reared. I chose the denomination of which I am a member and have been for over thirty years. That being said, I question that decision almost every day. I have yet to find a place where I can truly be me and fully express the gifts that I have. I have been struggling with this for a number of years, and I am sure the community is probably becoming tired of this and wondering why I simply do not move to find the place that is for me. Where of the body that I am the missing piece of? That is the question I ponder, which keeps me awake at night.
In the case of spiritual community, both “body” and “family” are metaphors, analogies. And all metaphors/analogies are limited in their scope. When we try to make either of them into a structure which can contain all the life issues we face, they fall flat.
As for choice, I may not have chosen my biological family, but I most certainly have chosen my spiritual family (church). I did not make the choice because I found a group of people who were perfect. My chosen family’s chief grace , that which drew me to them, was that they constituted a place where I could be my true self, where I could exercise the gifts God gave me. where I could continue to grow in Love, and where each of our unique contributions could enlighten the entire community. And it turns out that there was not just one family. Jesus does not appear to have called his disciples based on their worthiness but on their openness, their willingness to follow the path of transformation.
The parts of the body may not be equal, any more than the members of a family are equal, but we are all necessary parts of one another. In a healthy body/family/community, the oldest and most experienced gladly listen to the wisdom and experiences of the younger and the younger (of whatever actual age) seek out the life stories and wisdom of the older. Here, leaders teach others how to lead, just as one part of the body can assume the function of another when need be.
Both bodies and families can be centers of joy and growth or instruments of abuse and oppression. Many of us have grown up in families or churches which were not nourishing places; indeed, some of them were very harmful. We left them to seek out new groups where we were not fighting for our lives simply to belong.